Fly with me

Slow me down

2007-11-05T20:42:00.000+08:00

Slow me down, like that.

Ang bilis.

Wait lang.

*whew

*Hahaha.

Ellipses

2007-09-21T22:37:00.000+08:00

...

While people are busy getting together the rest of the world is breaking up

...

It upsets me.

...

Of a story from the past

2007-09-14T23:29:00.000+08:00

She was born and raised in Mindanao. The eldest of seven siblings, they were sent to school by their parents who till lands, sell crops, rice and corn. You could say that her life was somewhat monotonous given that she was raised in a ‘conservative’ era, in a Catholic and religious family at that but she still managed to squeeze in some delinquent deeds. After numerous cutting classes to listen to some radio teledrama and bum around the city, boyfriends, movie dates and bayles, she ended up as a professional teacher.

On the contrary, he lived a colorful life. His story is too vibrant to tell in one seating but let me try to work it out.

The fourth born in a brood of seven, he grew up in the Katagalugan; Lucban, Quezon. He didn’t have the luxuries she had as a kid. He learned how to live independently and fend for his and his ‘kuya’s (who was inflicted by some rare disease as a kid that affected his brain) needs while he was studying in first grade. Where were his other siblings and parents? His father died of cancer while his mother left for her hometown in Cavite to earn a living to survive her family. His siblings were in different relatives. He was able to travel to different places in the country, learn their languages and make friends and connections along the way. He even was sponsored and sheltered in a foundation in Baguio City when he was in high school but he eventually ran away and went about his escapades and conquest of happiness and contentment. Ok, he obviously didn’t get any degree but he was successful as a mason, carpenter, electrician, the list goes on. He was a delinquent but he knows and people who know him know that he’s one smart ass. Before I forget, he, is done with his MA some years ago and passed the teachers board examinations on the same year.

In Manila, 1980 (something, haha), he and she met. How?

She was in a dormitory somewhere in Taft Avenue, Manila looking for work and trying to get rich in the land of the probinsyana’s green pasture. He, on the other hand, was in Cavite with his family, still perfecting delinquency. He was courting she’s dorm mate then. He would call on their landline and talk to the girl. One day, by some stroke of fate, (or is it? Now, this part is too eck I don’t know, too much of something lol) she answered the phone and from then on he decided to hit it with she instead of the dorm mate. Their eyeball happened in Jollibee Taft Avenue branch. Now go figure, which Jollibee it is. From then on they became a couple. In September 14, 1987, they got married and had two kids. The rest, as they say is history.

It has been two decades now and I want to believe they still love each other. Haha. Man, they are aging. I kid.

To he and she; my mom and my dad, happy anniversary! Cheers to forty more. Haha. Pop and mom, thanks to my alcohol fix over at dinner. That made my day. It’s my first time. I promise. I love you both, to bits.

Of travels and journeys

2007-08-16T18:28:00.001+08:00

I'm itching to post a new entry for a week now and I came up with at least three entries when I decided not to post any of it here. My reasons? It's too hormonal to share.

On with my update.

I have always loved packing my stuff and go on trips with family and friends.

Among all the road-trips I had, my most memorable one would have to be our road-trip from our house here in Quezon City to my mom's hometown in Pagadian, Zamboanga del Sur. We covered the whole trip in 3 days and 2 nights.

Riding a barge to cross Mindanao from Visayas would have to be my most detested part of the trip because it's, if my memory serves me right, 3-4 hours long. It's okay if we're inside the comforts of our van but no we had to sit with the rest of the road-trippers, inside this non-air conditioned area with sticky railings and this fetid oil smell. One could sing hallelujah upon moor. Promise.

I say that it's a gift not to have travel sickness. You appreciate all the earth's damnation and glory both in nature and humans alike.

Moreover, it's a blessing to have the money to prop up all the expenses of your escapades. It's a plus if you have friends scattered all over the Philippines whom you can oblige to offer you their houses for. I proved this with my dad, he has friends from all over the country which made it easier for him to start businesses in different cities.

Various local airlines in the country are now in a promo and discount frenzy that is a total treat for us who always comes short in cash. In short, those who are financially incapacitated. Haha.

Now, while buying time to relax from all my papers and interviews, I chanced upon this site which evaluates how much of the Philippines have you traveled and I scored B-.

My Lakbayan grade is B-!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

Upon seeing the result of the quiz, I thought of how I am going fill in the colorless regions and areas of the Philippine map when we have no more car or van to take? Both our van and Accord were sold this month. How will I darken the lighter blue colored areas when in my dad's own words, 'I have no more money,'which makes us, the unemployed members of the family, money-less as well.

Well, just like any journey, we meet accidents and delays along the way. We arrive at our destination 3 hours behind schedule. Our hotel reservations were not booked exactly the way we intended. We get flat tires and over heatings but we always try not to let these things stop us from enjoying our escapades. We all charge these unfortunate events to experience and learn from them.

In our case, we exhausted our engines, we had to stop for a while. We had to surrender our keys and let go of the steering wheel. We will just optimistically wait on the side of the road and hitchhike to some thrill-seekers. And maybe, at the end of the road, there is a brand new car waiting for us -- a better journey around the country.

Price of being too sane

2007-07-19T20:26:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning feeling a bit weird.

I wanted to jog.

You see, it's weird because people know how I hated to jog and I feel like when I jog, my legs quadruples its size. I prefer mat exercises such as pilates and yoga or cardio dance.

But this morning was different.

I didn't contemplate much actually. I immediately changed into a comfy jogging outfit and slipped on my rubber shoes (the ones I used for Taebo in HS) and jogged around the village.

For a time, I moved in a slow, steady pace but after I got the hang of it, I started to move faster. My body started to get warmer by the minute and big droplets of sweat covered my body. The warmer I felt, the faster I went. Minutes passed and I felt my legs shake, my butt tighten but I just had to push myself harder and run faster.

I went around the same area several times. I ignored my always nosy neighbors and their helpers. It felt like my mind was not mindful of the place I jog in. It was my body which lead me around.

I didn't force myself to stop. I loved the numb feeling brought by my tired leg muscles and my tight butt. I loved the way I gasped for air like a dog.

I was tired. I felt numb. I felt weird. I felt sort of invincible. Which, at the moment, I love.

I gradually slowed down my pace. My lungs started to get more room for air. My leg muscles and behind slowly loosened.

Then, I stopped.

Right that instant, I felt my body sore. I immediately sat down at our front gate laughing to myself. I thought, 'I don't mind waking up to another weird morning, do this again and tire myself out.'

***

I'm finally 19. YAY! (Okay, super 4 days ago haha.)
Thank you LORD. ;)
My warmest thanks and love to all those who greeted me in person, thru text, phone call, multiply, friendster, YM.
To my family for being my shock absorber and for loving me always.
To my barkada whom I sorely miss.
To my friends, classmates, affiliates and future friends, thank you for keeping me sane, or maybe not?!
Cheers to my 19th year. (ACK! I think I want to drink. lol)

Out again!

2007-07-19T19:49:00.000+08:00

Yay! I'm so excited to be back.

I'm almost done with my entry.

Be right back.

Muning-muning saan ka nagpunta?

2006-09-15T22:36:00.000+08:00

Mayroon akong alagang aso. Mabalahibo, malambing, makulit, mapagmahal maliit, guwapo, maganda, in short, di ko alam kung babae o lalake siya. Depende kung sino siguro ang kasama niya kung gaano siya kasaya noong nakaraang gabi. Pero kahit ganito siya, malapit ito sa puso ko.

Isang araw, napagisipan ng alaga kong aso na gumala — pumunta sa barkada, bisitahin si papa at manginggit ng mga mama. Inabot ng maghapon si tuta sa kagagala. Hindi ako nabahala kasi madalas naman niyang gawin iyon kapag naiinitan sa bahay. Natulog akong mapayapa habang iniisip na bukas babalik din ang lakwatsera kong tuta.

Dumating ang umaga at wala pa rin si tuta sa tabi ko. "Aba! May hang-over pa siguro sa gimik. Babalik din iyon kapag nahimasmasan." Ang kaso, gabi na, wala pa ring bakas ni alagang tuta. Nag-alala na ako.

Hinanap ko siya sa mga lugar na palagi naming gimikan, sa mga kainang lagi naming pinupuntahan, sa mga kapitbahay, sa parke, sa playground, pero wala. Walang bakas ni anino ni tuta. Muning, muning dito, muning, muning doon. Pero wala pa rin. Binisita ko na ang mga kabarkada niyang daga at ang ate niyang kalapati pero wala nakakita sa kaniya. Muning, muning pa rin hanggang sa magtakip-silim pero walang bakas ni tuta.

Napaupo ako sa labas ng bahay. Hawak ang kadena ni alagang tuta. Parang baliw habang hinihimas-himas at nilalaro-laro ang kadena nito sabay hikbi ng malalim na, "muning, muning, muning."

Hanggang sa may lumapit sa aking tao. Hindi siya taga sa amin. Kanina pa raw niya ako tinitingnan.

"Nawawala aso mo?"
(Duh?! Obvious ba?) "Ah, eh, oo," mahina kong tugon habang nakapako pa rin ang tingin sa kadena.
"Hindi mo nga talaga mahahanap ang hinahanap mo. Hindi naman kasi pusa ang hinahanap mo kundi aso. Hindi talaga lalabas ang aso mo kung muning, muning ang itatawag mo sa kaniya."
Sabagay, may point nga naman siya doon. Tumabi iyong tao sa gawing kaliwa ko. Tss, nako ah, feeling close na.
"Alam mo, kapag may nawawala sa akin, pinipikit ko lang mga mata ko. Humihinga ng malalim habang iniisip kong doon sa lugar na kinalalagyan niya ngayon, masaya siya.
"Mala-panalangin?"
"Oo. Iisipin ko ang hitsura niya, ang ngiti niya tapos iisipin kong maayos siya doon. Sa lugar na iyon, may liwanag. Tapos sinusubukan kong sabihing umuwi na siya kasi miss ko na siya e."

Napapapikit iyong tao. Aba! Nakigaya na rin ako at sinamantala ang pagkakataon. Pumikit na rin ako at sinundan ang turo niya sa akin. Sabay pakawala ng isang malalim na buntong hininga.

Pagdilat niya ngumiti siya sa akin sabay tayo at nagsabing, "Huwag ka nang mag-alala babalik din siya. Mag-ingat ka." Sabay alis noong tao.

Gumaan ang pakiramdam ko pagkatapos. Natulog akong iniisip si mahal na alagang hayop.

Paggising ko noong sumunod na araw, andun na si alagang aso at nakatitig lang sa akin na kunyari inosente, kunyari wala lang nangyari. Sabay kendeng ng buntot. Hindi ko na nagawang pagalitan siya o tanungin kung saan siya galing o anong nangyari sa kaniya. Basta ang alam ko, miss ko na siya kaya naman dali-dali ko siyang niyakap at hinayaang ang katahimikan ang sumagot sa aking mga katanungan.

Para doon sa tao, gusto ko sana siyang bigyan ng gantimpala kaya lang hindi ko naman alam kung saan siya nakatira. Kaya pansamantala, tatandaan ko muna ang mukha niya, babalutan siya ng liwanag at iisiping ligtas siya at masaya. Salamat.

Wala na ngayon si alagang aso. Wala na rin akong tinatawag na muning-muning.

*******
Belated Happy Anniversary to my parents!
Happy Birthday Divine!

My two cents in living life

2006-08-02T21:13:00.000+08:00

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"I want to be a mother, get married and have babies," my three year old inaanak would usually answer this question.

Funny and malandi as it may seem but I see myself in her, ten, fifteen years ago. I wanted everything to be in fast phase. I want to finish school, have a job, get an adorable and loving hubby and create a family together. ASAP.

It's a fact that a lot of people if not all live each day as though they don't have much time to live. They rush in and out of things, put much pressure onto themselves and wrack their nerves up with deadlines and work that when they die, everythings turns into slow-motion plus all the dramatic flashbacks and what-ifs, as though they never had the chance to live.

Later did I realize that there is no need to rush things up. Growing up shouldn't be done in a hurry. Growing up is a process which gradually unravels its beauty before your eyes as time passes by.

It's a pity that most people now usually indulge themselves into the complexities of life rather than appreciating the beauty and simplicity of learning and growing up. They let themselves dive into a pool of mga hinog sa pilit people who are either lamog or sour. " Most of the time the simplest way to solve a problem is overlooked. They think that complexity solves the problem; that the feeling of superiority in relation to maturity should affect their ways of thinking.

Getting through the process being hurt, bruised up, being second best and like won't make you less of a person but instead equip you to the next process of growing which is learning until you go forth and be a changed, better and learned man.

There's no point of rushing things up, for if you do, you'll miss half the fun of living and being hurt all at the same time.

Live life to the fullest.

Bohol 101

2006-05-21T22:21:00.000+08:00

We're still in Bohol and everything's going well so far. My mom's sister in Cebu came over together with her kids, my lolo and lola from Mindanao came over and our vacation turned out to be a mini- reunion.

Extended relatives from my mom's side are a total headache. I hardly know the people they're asking me to "mano" with. Good thing I'm super friendly and courteous. Normal talks with them would usually go something like, "Kadako na nimo uy! Gamay pa man ka sa una, karon kay dalaga na ka!" And then followed by the "Naa na ba kay uyab?" as if it's a prerequisite to being dalaga. Nothing's new with it though because anywhere we go I'd usually get those kind of questions so I'm always prepared with "Kadaghan nila gahuwat sa aku-a uy! Sorry na lang sad sila ay kay naa koy ubang priorities." (insert maldita laugh here ... )

Have I mentioned that my relatives in Bohol are the second most pa-star in my whole family tree? The most pa-star would have to be my cousins in Malabon (father's side). Here in Ninay's house where we're staying overnight, music resounds all over the whole house, literally. In every corner of the house there's music playing. Be it instruments being played, maids singing, girls and boys belting their hearts out in the bathroom, children screaming while playing tag and running over the bermuda grass, or even radio playing the most uhm, what do you call it again? Oh yeah, gasgas song. The whole day was tiring for us due to all the travelling to and from the city. So we decided to top the day off with something we all agree upon and, karaoke. Hail magic sing, honey!

Since, everybody in the house are singers and we undoubtedly know it, they asked for a fresh talent. Simply put, my star shined again. I sang for an hour or so, I guess. My lolo started the showdown and set the bar high at 94 then came my turn. I started lousy though. 94 was my highest for my rendition of Ikaw. Got beaten by Omega's 96 for his version of Don't Let the Sun go Down on Me. After countless songs, my brother's 96 was flushed down the drain with my cousin's choice, Dadalhin by Regine V. I laughed hard when I saw the title of the song and told them, "Taas man ni 'ya, uy!" So the song played and I sang. Come the line, Tuwing kapiling ka tanging nadarama ang pagsilip ng bituin sa iyong mga mata, my 99 appeared.

HALLELUJAH.

It didn't go up nor down. It was steady at 99 and all eyes were on me. Lurved it actually. Come the Umiiyak, umiiyak part, (the bridge) my hopes of having a constant 99 from beginning to end almost shattered (*uish) but I was wrong. (insert laugh here) 99 was glued on the screen until I hummed my way to the end. (insert naughty laugh here)

I got a standing ovation after. Yayness. Lola and lolo were smiling from ear to ear. My cousins and aunts were so proud because of that constant 99. Too bad Ninoy didn't see me nail it. I bet he'd applaud his heart out when he sees it. We'll his pictures were over the altar so I guess that'd do the trick.

I only sang a couple of songs afterwards then I'm off to the guest room. My voice needs rest. (insert yet another big laugh here).

So there two days here in Bohol wasn't bad. I'm looking forward to my five more days of stay here in the island. Too bad my snorkeling's cancelled, thanks to my aunts reminder to mama of my cousin's accident. *boo* Well, I just hope the two newly opened resorts in Panglao Island's good and still not teemed by foreigners.

Learn that ...

2006-05-11T21:47:00.000+08:00

Snooping around is really bad.

~~You always keep that in mind while I'm taking my~~ ~~online hiatus.~~ *I changed my mind.*

terruh!

Bored.

2006-03-29T21:16:00.000+08:00

Due to extreme boredom, I had the urge to tinker with photoshop minutes ago and the picture above is the result. It's not much but I loved it nonetheless. I finally had a successful fake polaroid picture, thank you Adobe Photoshop.

Reflection

2006-03-25T16:16:00.000+08:00

Look at me, you may think you see who I really am,
but you'll never know me.

We look in the mirror to see our reflection --- the superficial side; but sometimes we look in the mirror to see the reflection that nobody else sees. You say to yourself, "I can see me."

But can you really see yourself?

When you look at your reflection, thousands of emotions are concealed behind every smile, smirk, pout and frown you make; experiences are stressed and defined by every laugh lines you try to mask with thick make up; the people you have spent your life with and all the places you've been to are revealed by your aura.

Our reflection is like a kaleidoscope of emotions and if we try to define ourselves as a person, we get tongue- tied and just don't know what perfect words to use or simply put, we don't know where to start.

I guess that's how the world goes. We are all strangers in this world. We are all strangers to each other but what we must all acknowledge and remember, we too are strangers upon ourselves.

... when will my reflection show who I am inside?

More random stuff

2006-03-24T21:19:00.000+08:00

My dad and I are getting closer.

My mom's super temperamental these days, might be a sign of menopausal. *kidding* Kaya tuloy we didn't have any shopping session together this month. I can't get to ride with her mood swings. Tsk. I just hope she'd come back to normal again. After all, summer's just a week away.

My brother's kinder now. I don't why but I just hope he'd stay that way for the rest of our lives.

I'm really bad at signs, brr...

I'm gaining more and more and more and more weight which makes my mom super mad and leaving me super frustrated!

I'm almost broke, just don't ask where I spent almost half of my allowance on. Haha.

I badly want to be in Diliman. *desperate tone*

I'm still good at laughing ~~and crying.~~

I don't think I'd miss block 5. I have this feeling that they're just a few blocks away thus there's really no need for all the drama. *big grin*

I sorely miss my HS friends and their mean-ness.

My BEKLAS are missed most especially because I haven't met anyone yet who could go and challenge their bitchiness. *haha*

I'm kinder now compared in high school but I slightly miss my beeyotch level before. *heehee*

I'm emotionally better now (I guess)

*******
I'm honestly not making any sense here so I better leave. Sensible posts are coming in a week or two.

*******

Dear second sem,
Salamat at matatapos ka na.
Salamat sa mental at emotional torture, mahal na kita!

Alpha.

Random Stuff

2006-03-22T14:54:00.000+08:00

1st Year in UP.

School's not yet through but I'm hella saturated already.
I didn't perform well in my freshman year of college. I know dad's disapppointed for I was never like this in GS and HS but he still loves me anyway.
I'm not the Alpha that I know when it comes to my academics this year. I'm a different person and I guess it worked both positively and negatively for me.
I guess the previous one works for my personality and views as well.
The only thing I am regretful for this school year was that I never had the chance to hear my mom or my dad say, "I'm proud of you!" or even "Congratulations!" I traded those words for having a time off from all the pressures, glitz and glamour of being in the 'circle of the diligent.'
Over breakfast this morning, I didn't promise my dad anything. I kept everything to myself and I just hope I'd be ablet to gather myself back to whole again, ASAP.

*******

On the lighter side, spending almost a year in UP Manila gave me heaps of realizations and I know my college word would be spelled differently if I didn't meet those people in block 5.
I always thought I know myself better but there were other people pala in this world who knows me beyond what 'I know.'
I'm indeed a big ball of contradictions and I love how people around me are able to sail along with me.

*******

Given my itineraries for summer, I don't know if I'd still be able to enroll for summer class. Pbft!
I have to lose weight and have myself weigh the way (the pun!) I used to be in HS.

*******
Lastly, just like Chesca:

Second sem, sana matapos ka na. As in now na now na. Wiz na ako lakas and drive to make dates and beso pa with all my majors, noh?!

XOX, Alpha.

PS. Sana may outing ang block 5. *big grin*

I'm out

2006-03-17T19:11:00.000+08:00

I thought I won't come out of blogger again but I hella missed everything and everybody around here thus I came out of the shadow of my lj and started doing something here.

I won't be posting anything sensible yet. I just want my name and presence be felt in blogger because I know this world missed me sorely. Haha.

This will still remain a secret. Kumusta na lang sa mga taong makakahanap sa akin agad.

*sings*

I'm coming out, I'm coming...
I'm coming out, I want the world to know ...